OK, so I usually reference U2 in my blogs, and today's title is from a U2 song, so thats OK. But really today I need to reference Elton John, because actually the title I want to use is "Sorry seems to be the hardest word".
I mean, how often do we actually say "sorry" these days. In this culture where we look to everyone else to blame, where our individualism means we can justify and explain our own actions, we're so quick to look around and point the finger at someone else, that we can usually find a way out of saying sorry. And if we can't then how often do we follow it up with our explanation, our justification, our escape route. "I'm sorry but...." or "I'm sorry you feel like that, but what I actually meant was... " Have we, as a culture, as a people, lost the ability to take responsibility for ourselves, for our own actions, for our own part in the things that go wrong?
I've spent a lot of time thinking and praying about a number of issues this Lent - and one of the things that God has been saying to me is that I need to get better at taking responsibility, accepting my own culpability and saying sorry. Just apologising, without trying to justify, explain or evade my part.
There is of course a place for understanding, for discussion, for explanation of the why of things that have gone wrong - but tacked on to the end of an apology is not the place for it. That comes later, if it comes at all, as the different parties try to work through, together, in openness, whatever the issues are, to try and prevent a repeat. But saying sorry is, or should be, a time of complete vulnerability - otherwise its not really repentence at all.
So here I am making a public commitment that I will do whatever I can to stick to this. If anyone who has read this catches me in the future sticking a "but..." on the end of an apology, you have my permission to call me up on it - to challenge me and make me think. Maybe, with time, and practice, and God's help, saying sorry won't be the hardest word after all...
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